Tag: funny
group name: holidayhumor
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December 09, 2006 10:25 PM EST --
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage "Some Assembly . . . more
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December 12, 2006 10:02 PM EST --
Brought to you from
"Humor Matters".
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Procter and Gamble? . . . more
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December 22, 2006 11:22 PM EST --
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND . . . more
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February 19, 2007 11:21 PM EST --
"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would . . . more
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December 09, 2006 09:12 AM EST --
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding . . . more
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December 11, 2006 10:36 AM EST --
Take one of your favorite Christmas songs and rewrite it! :) It's kind of fun. lol. I did O, Christmas tree and this is what I came up with:
Oh cassandra dee, oh cassandra dee
your hair is . . . more
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December 06, 2006 09:47 PM EST --
Do you pull off the wrapping or rip
Shred the bow, break the tape, or just snip
It's the gift that's inside
That is your big surprize
Unscrew the old cap, take a sip!
more
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December 16, 2006 12:25 PM EST --
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Republished. This was from my old account, I like it, here it is again, edited
=================================================== . . . more
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February 01, 2007 10:41 AM EST --
These are not quite like those cute little pot bellied hairy dolls of the 70's. No, these are the people who go around and purposly give specific people low ratings on posts and pictures. While . . . more
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December 04, 2006 03:21 AM EST --
There is a website you can to go to fill in the blanks..lol, it creates a letter to Santa and they are HILARIOUS. lol. http://www.members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm
Santa Claus
North . . . more
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January 15, 2007 08:43 PM EST --
I just recieved this in an email and debated posting it. Decided too.
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly . . . more
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February 08, 2007 03:06 PM EST --
* How about never? Is never good for you?
* I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
* Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. . . . more
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February 19, 2007 11:37 PM EST --
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked . . . more
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February 11, 2007 01:49 AM EST --
JOKE - 1
The cops raided the local brothel and had all the girls standing in line waiting to enter the paddy wagon.
A little old lady walked up and asked one of the girls what the line was . . . more
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December 17, 2006 05:04 PM EST --
My daughter came to visit us today. Not too long after she got home she forwarded this to me. I thought it was hilarious.
Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual . . . more
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December 15, 2006 05:12 PM EST --
==========================================================
Republished. This was from my old account, I like it, here it is again, edited ========================================================== . . . more
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December 25, 2007 04:56 PM EST --
So, this morning I was in a hurry. I had to open presents, shower, get my daughter ready, make enchiladas, and get out the door in one and a half hours this morning.
I had stayed up half . . . more
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December 07, 2006 08:08 AM EST --
I haven't a clue what to do.
There are limericks stuck in my shoe.
They grind like a corn,
I am really forlorn.
Woops! There's another for you.
more
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December 08, 2006 08:22 AM EST --
This one rushed into my head faster than I could get back to the keyboard to type it out
I hadn't a date for the Prom
I asked - I asked and got none
So I got a six pack
And drank it . . . more
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December 22, 2006 11:06 PM EST --
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas and West Virginia . . . more
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