Tag: humor
group name: holidayhumor
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December 05, 2006 07:12 PM EST --
* Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
* Kid asks for new bike, gets a pack of smokes.
* Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling. . . . more
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December 09, 2006 10:25 PM EST --
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage "Some Assembly . . . more
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December 12, 2006 10:02 PM EST --
Brought to you from
"Humor Matters".
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Procter and Gamble? . . . more
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December 20, 2007 04:49 PM EST --
BOSTON. At the Borders Bookstore in downtown Boston, the lines snake around the building with holiday shoppers making last-minute purchases. Sometimes the contrasts are striking, as ramrod-straight . . . more
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December 22, 2006 11:22 PM EST --
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND . . . more
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February 19, 2007 11:21 PM EST --
"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would . . . more
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December 09, 2006 09:12 AM EST --
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding . . . more
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December 11, 2006 10:36 AM EST --
Take one of your favorite Christmas songs and rewrite it! :) It's kind of fun. lol. I did O, Christmas tree and this is what I came up with:
Oh cassandra dee, oh cassandra dee
your hair is . . . more
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December 15, 2006 08:00 PM EST --
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my
children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor,
and sold sixty-two cases of . . . more
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December 06, 2006 09:47 PM EST --
Do you pull off the wrapping or rip
Shred the bow, break the tape, or just snip
It's the gift that's inside
That is your big surprize
Unscrew the old cap, take a sip!
more
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February 10, 2008 02:52 PM EST --
Surveys show that men will give women more than 36 million boxes of chocolate and 189 million roses on Valentine's Day, making lemmings look like hip, Bohemian non-conformists.
Remarkably . . . more
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December 28, 2006 09:16 AM EST --
POUGHKEEPSIE, New York. Sales figures for the Christmas shopping season are in, and last-minute purchases pushed total revenues high enough for most retailers to declare 2006 a success, with . . . more
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December 16, 2006 12:25 PM EST --
===================================================
Republished. This was from my old account, I like it, here it is again, edited
=================================================== . . . more
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December 04, 2006 03:21 AM EST --
There is a website you can to go to fill in the blanks..lol, it creates a letter to Santa and they are HILARIOUS. lol. http://www.members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm
Santa Claus
North . . . more
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January 15, 2007 08:43 PM EST --
I just recieved this in an email and debated posting it. Decided too.
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly . . . more
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February 19, 2007 11:37 PM EST --
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked . . . more
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October 11, 2007 03:37 PM EDT --
WELLESLEY FALLS, Massachusetts. Janet Disalvo is, by her own admission, an unreformed hippie.
Hippie turned suburban mom.
The mother of three lets the grass in her front yard grow wild, creating . . . more
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November 19, 2007 02:28 PM EST --
Tired of staring at lumps of starch in your refrigerator left over from Thanksgiving dinner? Don't throw them away! Here are six great recipes that will turn Turkey Day rejects into December . . . more
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December 10, 2006 06:23 PM EST --
I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE A CALGON CHRISTMAS
Shopping has never been my forte. Needless to say, Christmas shopping literally . . . more
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November 02, 2007 01:13 PM EDT --
DOS FLEDAN, Freedonia. American C-17 Globemaster cargo planes touched down on a bombed-out landing strip here today with the first shipment of leftover Halloween candy from the U.S., bringing sustenance . . . more
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