Tag: joke
group name: holidayhumor
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December 22, 2006 11:22 PM EST --
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND . . . more
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December 09, 2006 09:12 AM EST --
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding . . . more
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January 15, 2007 08:43 PM EST --
I just recieved this in an email and debated posting it. Decided too.
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly . . . more
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February 08, 2007 03:06 PM EST --
* How about never? Is never good for you?
* I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
* Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. . . . more
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February 19, 2007 11:37 PM EST --
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked . . . more
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December 04, 2006 03:21 AM EST --
There is a website you can to go to fill in the blanks..lol, it creates a letter to Santa and they are HILARIOUS. lol. http://www.members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm
Santa Claus
North . . . more
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February 11, 2007 01:49 AM EST --
JOKE - 1
The cops raided the local brothel and had all the girls standing in line waiting to enter the paddy wagon.
A little old lady walked up and asked one of the girls what the line was . . . more
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December 15, 2006 05:12 PM EST --
==========================================================
Republished. This was from my old account, I like it, here it is again, edited ========================================================== . . . more
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December 21, 2007 06:34 PM EST --
This short message from Santa. Is one someone received in the past. A friend emailed it to me. Of course I had to share~ =) It's an oldie but a goodie~
Santa's message:
Make . . . more
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December 22, 2006 11:06 PM EST --
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas and West Virginia . . . more
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February 11, 2007 11:53 PM EST --
I found this one in my email and just had to share it.
No Change
One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even . . . more
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December 05, 2006 06:47 PM EST --
10. Instead of saying, "Ho-Ho-Ho," he hollers "Oy vey!"
9. He asks the mothers if they want to sit on his lap.
8. Resume includes appearing as Santa in "Naughty, Naughty Girls." . . . more
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December 05, 2006 06:54 PM EST --
Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvre. . . . more
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December 09, 2006 05:52 PM EST --
Top 10 Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart
10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut from a magazine with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and . . . more
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December 29, 2006 08:47 PM EST --
Three men and their wives are sitting around a table: a Russia, an American and an Englishman.
The Englishman starts off and says to his wife:
"Would you pass the sugar, sugar?" She smiles . . . more
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January 30, 2007 09:51 AM EST --
BUBBA'S ODE TO LOVE
Roses are red,
or are they blue?
Hell I don't know
but I do like you.
I love you more
than my truck's tires.
Yer more useful than my
old rusty pliers.
You cook . . . more
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January 02, 2007 07:17 PM EST --
I received this in my email and just had to share with all of you!
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards” over the . . . more
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February 08, 2007 02:07 PM EST --
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. . . . more
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December 22, 2006 10:59 PM EST --
Politically Correct Santa
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves," . . . more
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February 11, 2007 03:56 PM EST --
VALENTINE JOKES
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.
Marriage is . . . more
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