Tag: jokes
group name: holidayhumor
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December 05, 2006 07:12 PM EST --
* Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
* Kid asks for new bike, gets a pack of smokes.
* Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling. . . . more
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December 22, 2006 11:22 PM EST --
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND . . . more
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December 09, 2006 09:12 AM EST --
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding . . . more
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January 15, 2007 08:43 PM EST --
I just recieved this in an email and debated posting it. Decided too.
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly . . . more
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December 04, 2006 03:21 AM EST --
There is a website you can to go to fill in the blanks..lol, it creates a letter to Santa and they are HILARIOUS. lol. http://www.members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm
Santa Claus
North . . . more
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February 11, 2007 01:49 AM EST --
JOKE - 1
The cops raided the local brothel and had all the girls standing in line waiting to enter the paddy wagon.
A little old lady walked up and asked one of the girls what the line was . . . more
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February 11, 2007 11:53 PM EST --
I found this one in my email and just had to share it.
No Change
One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even . . . more
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December 05, 2006 06:47 PM EST --
10. Instead of saying, "Ho-Ho-Ho," he hollers "Oy vey!"
9. He asks the mothers if they want to sit on his lap.
8. Resume includes appearing as Santa in "Naughty, Naughty Girls." . . . more
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December 05, 2006 06:54 PM EST --
Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvre. . . . more
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December 09, 2006 05:52 PM EST --
Top 10 Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart
10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut from a magazine with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and . . . more
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December 29, 2006 08:47 PM EST --
Three men and their wives are sitting around a table: a Russia, an American and an Englishman.
The Englishman starts off and says to his wife:
"Would you pass the sugar, sugar?" She smiles . . . more
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May 11, 2008 02:01 PM EDT --
Examples of mania are shown below:
Examples of personality disorder are shown below: . . . more
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January 30, 2007 09:51 AM EST --
BUBBA'S ODE TO LOVE
Roses are red,
or are they blue?
Hell I don't know
but I do like you.
I love you more
than my truck's tires.
Yer more useful than my
old rusty pliers.
You cook . . . more
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December 24, 2007 08:41 PM EST --
So I was a maniac earlier today and whipped up a batch of soap today, made the kids homemade and chicken and gravy for lunch which they ate on toast, answered a bunch of emails and then after lunch I . . . more
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May 13, 2008 01:16 PM EDT --
I know it is a little early for Halloween, but I like monsters.
. . . more
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December 14, 2006 09:05 PM EST --
I got this from a friend at work today and laughed so hard I started snorting!!
I was pretty sure my Gather friends would enjoy it.
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. . . . more
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March 14, 2008 01:08 PM EDT --
Poland's worst air disaster occurred today when a small 2 seater plane crashed into a cemetery this morning. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that . . . more
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March 15, 2008 01:40 PM EDT --
On Arafat: You're not supposed to say anything about the dead unless
it's good. He's dead. Good.
Earlier today the president has called on all Americans to do
volunteer
work. . . . more
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December 12, 2006 10:43 AM EST --
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes
Did you hear that one of . . . more
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January 13, 2007 03:06 AM EST --
Wife: honey, i want to get my boobs bigger.
Husband: Alright.....
Wife: how can i do that?
Husband: try rubbing toilet paper between them.
Wife: why?
Husband: well, it worked for your ass.
more
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